Tips for a Better Relationship During Stressful Times

• Get to Know Yourself Better:  If you find yourself resenting your partner or feeling neglected, carve out time to think about what you need and want that would make you feel better and do something about it.
• Make Emotional Deposits:  That exotic vacation may be on hold during these challenging economic times, but simple behaviors everyday can make a difference in your relationship.  Smiling, attentive listening, touching, validation, and affirmations can all go along way.
• Get Ahead of Problems:  Addressing issues early and often in a relationship is key to stimulating growth and enhancing intimacy.  Avoiding them will only foster blame and resentment.
• Beware of Compulsive Behavior as a Coping Strategy:  Too many activities such as shopping, drinking, eating, or even exercise may help you forget your problems, but can also create new ones.  Work on balance.
• Love Your Partner "AS IS":  Acceptance and appreciation are far more effective than criticism disguised as help or suggestions in promoting good will and reducing tension.
• Look For the Truth in any Criticism - Let Go of the Rest:  Remember you are okay without your partner's constant approval.  If you are wrong - admit it and learn from it.
• Remain Open to Change:  Remember that a committed relationship provides a powerful opportunity to see yourself honestly and to grow as a human being.
• Stay Connected:  Real love takes real work.  Build in time and activities that create spontaneous connection - not just occupying the same space together.  For many couples that may require getting out of the house - even if just for a romantic stroll.
• Seek Counseling:  If you're still looking for ways you can break negative patterns in your life and grow to your fullest potential - visit BreakthroughatCaron.org to learn more about our intensive 5 and a 1/2 day wellness program.

Signs That Your Relationship May Be Suffering Include:

• Superficial talk or too much talk about work/family or money
• Going to bed at different times with no effort to "connect"
• No laughter or fun
• Limited touch
• Demand for more sex or avoidance of sex
• Less eye contact and smiles
• Critical comments or subtle negative body language
• Picking on each other in public

From Ann W. Smith, LMFT, Executive Director of Breakthrough at Caron